notes from ...

Ever going to see the rain coming down, splashes on to your face, covering the lonely shapes. Like a cold cold winter, an ice cold wind blowing out of nowhere. All the leftover leaves circling up in the air. Snowflakes dancing, dressing the trees, failing to touch the ground. Standing beyond, trembling with such foggy feelings. Never taking anything for granted. For sure something's hardly change. Ever going the smile a grinned smile, fair adjustment, proper wooden stacks for the fundamentals. A flying garment, with scent of so - forgotten memories, scratching your nose. You know the feeling to stand black and white over a rainbow. Observations recall, the blind conscious never stops to record. An interrupted mind, a bad heart, a lovely crack in the time, a still moment from the life. Stolen beauty for a while, a borrowed happiness to pass along when it's time. Destructive, we are. Roaring from the ground, to the stars, as if any sound could reach to that far...

Notes:

Bored of faces with uncomfortable features.
Hold on to something, even if that something's not enough to hold on.
Blind recursion. Recycling feelings.
How nice heartaches can be used over & over all the time.
Self - disappearance does not mean losing control. It only implies a well - defined darkness is present and wider than the decision - making mechanism of one self.
A coast guard of a dried - out soul that resides on the desert.
Dilemmas are always fun to deal, but hard to live through. When it comes to decide, convincing could be a big time.
Reserved life. Purified from vanity and prejudices. Lovely and has a brand new offer list. Every morning is a new beginning of a new list, yet limited time offers do quickly pass.
...
Railway, a blue sweater on your shoulders, skin nearly tangerine, tan out of the sun. A very passionate eagerness sense, fly through your eyes.
A writer who puts a lid on the books of crime...
Crystal clear thoughts, even they can be smoked within one's unexpected strike.
Boring people, so predictable, so naturally driven prototypes. And yet keep hidden the keys of surprisingly unfamiliar lives.
Everything we achieved is just to be on the safe side.
Everything can grow dis-functioning once in a while. And something's always malfunctioning in our lives.
It's our duty somehow to make "unbearable" , just normal. Pretty good adjustments, unraveling emotions within time. A huge ball of yarn, to be decomposed during life.
A stoning out of shame, leaving traces on the trail...
Your astonishing scars are your living sides.
Plenty of fear aside, courage and gumption leads you to the perfect alibi.
All so many colors of life, define our beauty and our devils inside. Rarely, occasionally someone interrupts. Changes the background & re-paint all your life, all over from the start. Accordingly some colors fade away, some blur & some gets bold and highlighted enough to get you through the "bridge of sighs".
My mind blocked, my heart locked...surrender if possible.
If everything was possible, if only...
Uncertainty tastes bittersweet sometimes. Like we should always leak some, but not the whole for the previews. Whatever we do, will be insignificant, but we should still try, right?


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S210E1406:

Awakening from the left side. Abroad, there is a blue boat awaiting. Dreaming. Again...recovering. Pretty ugly, these things counting backwards.
Moonlight covering your tired features. Nice touch. With an eye from the heart, don't we already know, nothing's what they seem, and no one's really know who you are.
So precious right, like you are the only leftover, just before the last one.
Feels like discovering a unique treasure on the bottom of the jar.
Awakening again, from the same side. Sheets shattered. Sunlight leaking between bloody curtains. What is it that you are thinking?
An unfamiliar cold sweat is sitting on your forehead. It feels unreal to face the facts.
Getting punches, drifting, hiding yourself inside a sandbag.
Walking clockwise and still turning back. Same spot, same lack of knowledge, same crave.
Let's captivate, what's been leaking, against the will of sakes.
Should you stand against? Will you let?
And you're leaving... Wearing that grinned smile you have. Aware of what's left & what to come by next. All the clumsy moves, mistakes, laying under your happy feet, leading the same dead - end. Infinite loop of disasters and why press the button again & again?
Long nights, no release of the soul fights, why don't you stay safe and sane for once?
Questions, right? All the time, you've been running so fast to catch up...what happened to the ones you've missed and left behind?
Waiting in the dark for someone to speak up. Is it too tight this time?
Sometimes ability to avoid what's shallow, is an inevitable isolation without an expire date.
Will you please open up? A reconcile, a fast run, a total rush, a fatal growth. Who will you hand over the keys to your garden of stone?
I know what's not right, just right now. I know bothering thoughts, itches you've been fighting among. Daily basis breakdowns & rapid mood changes comes along. No one lies alone, but everyone dies alone. I know the consequences of your worried smile, respectful tries. your jar of butterflies waiting to be released for some one. Your unexplainable sense of patience over neurotic lives. Your understanding for the worst possible outcomes. Will you change once in a while? Surrounded by one unbelievable cage, will you let it go and change? Give up the silver spoons of this artificial place. Flow with the circuits of waves, close up the internal nest, rise up with the new day. With a different name, a different same...
Serving pain for some happiness in exchange?

...