Trompe Le Monde

I do reconcile. What a fine day I may say. My composure stays on...like a plant dying inside with an orange and a smiley green face. My silence stays on. From flames I walked thru, from dark tears I survived and lived through. I'm tired now. Losing compassion, accepting less, fighting less, criticizing every part and still do nothing. I feel less of everything, yet I feel like I have much more than I should have owned. Every part of me designates, piece by piece, I kill myself.
My last circle of joy, I kept it hidden in my right pocket. I count misery everyday and enlarge my circle to what may it come. Cruel times I sense their presence like dark clowns, many more to come, and less of them survives. No one is right to judge me, my shortcomings or insecurities. I shall live on 'til I give up on...
Lights on the doors... who should choose? Who forces to make amends & rewrite what's been done. Why try to fix what has already broken into millions of pieces. Are we OK? Who really intend to ask? Never did I wonder why. I'm convinced past is an old carpet with holes on it. Could it possibly fly?
Grey is the post-modern lifestyle. Believing in endless affections, enormous infatuations, calm expectations, truth and dignity has faded away. Imaginary scenes fading out within time, diminished and get lost. We're all sorry creatures, with seeds of hatred and greed. Our silly pride, paths of lies, pink&white...is this all we got? Left hands empty, all these complicated lives, fear and silence. Our tears are now disposable. How to recycle feelings? That is the new future dream! Last of all, until we turned out to become senseless, so called "modern" folks, loosening will go on. Continue on ruling little worlds, while no one notices how mashing up the earth leads us nowhere but dark times. Being in love changed definition over time. Self - ignorance is contagious, hence nobody cared enough. We murdered sense of humor, values and meanings we oughta find. Discovered, vulnerable life's kept hidden beyond knowledge and love. Let's move on and see where every little thing's gonna collapse. What a magnificent scene, with fireworks to sit and watch. Who will ever notice it is all of us, that has been corrupted and broken down.
We had dreams? We had promises. Who forced us to sell more souls over carefree pleas. What about trees, millions of color changing leaves...All the green?
Who else to blame relentlessly. Once we'd be grateful, now we should be ashamed...even get drowned in an underestimated depth of self-destructive pain. Fear not, some might say. Fear not, yet we'll face what we deserved eventually at last. Glasses of lust has blinded our sight. We have invited the age of cries. We, ourselves created this universe of crime. Who'd call it off, ignoring self-profits gained over some others rights. How come the peace is the goal of any war? Confidence re-shaped over time. Trust no longer exists in selfish minds. We keep breaking our own hearts. Misreading the signs, we're captivated by each others secret love. Overwhelming quotations, sacred prayers, divine wishes, real encounters...where will you find?
Cut me some slack, I'm out of questions and reasons why...