Pix-house Blues

I'm leaving tonight, ..moving somewhere undecided already. I'm out of answers, temporary solutions, permanent hopes and unbearable faith. A hundred times older should it be. A hundred times better should it have been? A hundred multiplying me and a hundred less harmful. What was that? .... "no damage, no matter what"... Then I guess "Whatever works for it, let's just suit ourselves"... Eventually everything will diminish and fall. Rest to peace, shattered glass, all in dust but in one piece. From above I see, everything as well sinking.. I can not fit.. I can not feel.. How'd be glorious to not to think; gorgeous, if we'd foresee...everything? A requiem delivering to all former ....ships. Farewells are out, as well as apologies are already sold out. How easy it seems when it's really beyond bad and nonsense when mindtricks lead a way out. ... precious time... Anxious right? Rushing a day while easing up the time. Consuming carelessly, when feeling sorry for ages. Such ironic act.
Did you mean it, while saying "I care for you"?
Did you say it? .... "I love you"..."I can not stand without you" ?
Did you say it?




"Ardently decorated compassion will drain the evil misbehave. Belief, will torn apart this time, what has been built above one's deep agony and pain.
Roads will divide undivine.
Ways out narrowing the ways themselves will float in sorrow.



Without belief, no one shall conquer relief...




Ashes to be buried will be the last surviving tears of un-rewindable time and regrets.
What has been done shall not be corrected or eased.
The heavy burden will embrace carelessly, reluctant and relentlessly.
One's failure shall be belonged by the same thee.
The flame keeping the hatred alive shall diminish the pride and put more sorrow.
The taste of loss shall captivate hearts deeply.
The misery shall paint the sinful lips, the dry windows that torn lives apart.
Unbearable smoke shall engrave to unconscious souls.
Thee shall not find peace neither here, nor in the other side."




I say your name, at fourty what times
Counting your every hair like stars.
Above I, float through a dream, loosening a belt, relief arise.
Down to you, I land, I stand, I stare... you make me cry.
For so long, whole time I've been torn,
piece by piece, I break into your eyes.
Keep pushing me away until no sparkle's glitter again,
I...inhale.
You keep me around, near to your oldest toy.
Or anyone else could have known,
Why only misery stick around, for that long.
What should have pull us near, tastes just like fear.
For once,
......... let me exhale...




Surprise!
felt the same,
chickened out,
run away.
Oh my old sweet temptations, how rapidly turned into anxious actions.
Seriously?
How old am I?
How far I've gone by standing still all that time?
Seriously!
Did anyone declare it?
My left eye, right in the mirror..hurts..
My hair, no cutting edge design, anyone can tell,
Clumsy, well enough to disappear
I can hardly breath...
Who knows what happened when I'm removed?
Remember how was it, like a bright and shiny day or very desperate?
Who helps to remember?
Who knows what happens when I'm without myself?
If all the trouble'd flew away,
I'd promise to stay.
I'd save the day..
Where everything's radiant despite the odds
Where I'd love and beloved in return.





Where I was happy simply, with my Japanese melodies,
no heartache, no wonders through undetermined miseries..
Really did I try to avoid what was so obvious to come?
Why choose dark side, beyond bad, to be able to rise?
How did I not realize that everything'd have been stuck into mud?
How stupid I was to believe, there's always a way to live through against the odds..
Now every other thing seems so hard.
Now I can not catch up.
My melodies are lost, I adapted miseries instead, darkness destined to not to move out.
How easy it seemed before, anything was possible to move on.
And now here, time stopped.
Healing is delayed, disdain ships floating on the space.
I stopped.
I deny to feed the seeds of that so familiar hopes.
Here I am, being no one, at all...





Playing a cruel game, assuming hurting peaks at some point.
That small joint,
we were, was all so wrong, so meaningless.
Killed all the beauty bloomed.
Pretty things being sad, heavy rain dried out the flame.
A counter clock written over our foreheads and still we don't care.
Bad...
Everything is naturally bad.



Waking up, setting all the bridges to fire.
Disconnect from cruel judgments.
Even loneliness is better than standing for lies.
Dignity can only be held if your hands,
do not wash out the blood of others lives...